Inside my heart is breaking, My makeup may be flaking, But my smile still stays on

In Which, this two-week period, Arielle struggled with maintaining concentration and motivation on the current Tank Project, despite her best efforts. Somehow, motivation has been cast into the dark and is proving hard to locate amongst the chaos of life outside Game Gen. Hopefully, a two-week drawing break is what the doctor ordered.

I'm struggling, but I think for those around me, it's not very hard to see. I'm decent at masking, but honestly, as I've gotten older, it's gotten harder to maintain...still.... don't know how to turn it off at all...which has led to major Autistic Burnout which I've been dealing with for...what feels like over a decade. It's nutty to think I have been isolating like some kind of autistic hermit for so long, but I can't deny it's truth. New things are enough to hold my attention, but I struggle to find purchase as more and more time goes on, and I get in my head about it, feeling like...maybe I'm taking too long to complete this, maybe my decade long artist block has rendered me a garbage artist, and even things like "maybe I don't belong here".

Regardless, no matter how much I divulge, The Show Must Go On. I'll face it with a grin.

But I've not been completely without progress, just...far too slow. I began the process of starting to block out parts of the "Tank" and making shapes which will eventually come together to make keyframes for the "Tank Animation" as well as putting down some color to see how it's going to ultimately look. I am anticipating the arrival of a tablet...so with any luck, this will speed up the art part significantly.

The beginnings of tank animation...it is at rest in the first frame, and by the end it stands. This is yet untested.

Rough tail animation for the future walk cycle

Color and shading for the "Head" of the "Tank". It's eyes are closed.

Eyes Open.

Head and Neck

So now what? I could continue working on this project.... even though the motivation engine is stalling out. Instead, the next two weeks, I want to try to inject some motivation, perhaps something simpler. I think for the next two weeks...I just want to focus on some creature drawings and such. Perhaps getting out some other ideas or art will help. Hopefully the tablet comes in soon...in fact...let me check the mailroom...

How can you help? Well, one way that's fairly simple, if you see I've posted some drawings, please consider commenting or leaving an emote reaction. I hate to fish for compliments, and honestly...I'd rather you give honest feedback and critique than blind compliments, just don't get unhelpful/hurtful with any critiques. It's honestly...been longer than I'd like to admit since I've really been sharing my art at all, so just knowing someone looked at it and has an opinion would make me feel better than nothing at all. Granted, you don't have to comment or react to everything I post, but if you see that no one has said anything about it...maybe?