"Set Me Free, My Honeybee"

In which Arielle realizes it's been about a year since she started Game Gen. Arielle struggles to keep things running smoothly, despite unhelpful and MIA Service Providers, nausea inducing medications, fair-weather friends, fitful sleep, deepening loneliness, possible burnout, and plenty other things. She has started to consider another dog but is unsure if that is the answer, or if this is the right time. Bowie's Birthday was Saturday, which was both upsetting, but also her Game Gen friends helped to make the day manageable...

There is too much to say. I'll just get to what I've been working on.

There has been progress on learning Clip Studio Paint as well as on the painting I started of skeleton Astro Bowie. I am coming up with more ideas for it...and I want to finish it. Wanted to finish it, originally, for Bowie's Birthday, but I couldn't get myself to work on it fast enough.

These are some concepts I was playing with...not sure about the colors...was just messing around.

The world seems determined to remind me of Bowie...not that I can't forget about him anyway. The other day was International Dog Day...so my search bar looked like this

It was cute...but also sad. At least today is:

Says it's "Puffling Season"...which admittedly.... makes me want a little puffling now.

I also want to take a moment to apologize to my project partners for this month's Fight Club. When I first heard of the theme, I knew I had to get in on it...mainly for the selfish reason of wanting to do something in honor of Bowie, though I knew I was unlikely to sell people on that idea. It wasn't until last week I finally was able to get partners, three of us in total. However, I recently bowed out of the group, and I feel bad about it, mostly due to the proximity to the deadline. I knew though as I stared at the blank canvas of the background I was working on, that I was going to be more of a hinderance to getting the project done on time than if I left. I also just feel bad that I didn't get to do Fight Club this month...

The first background I did didn't end up fitting the size that ultimately was selected for the game...so I started another one that was the right size, but that's about when I dropped...so there isn't much...but what work I did do, is thusly:

And now...I don't know.

Is it burnout? Is it that I'm overwhelmed by everything going on...and the number of drawings and projects sitting next to me incomplete, despite not having the energy or motivation to finish them? Is it deepening depression...to the point where things that gave me joy now illicit an emotional void. Maybe it's all the above...

It may be time for a break.